Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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