wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
