Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if only i could text you this smell
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
