he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
