The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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