We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
