ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize