Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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