bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
