so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This baby is an asshole
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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