It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
