Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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