normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
