She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
