I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
