Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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