Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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