Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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