Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
