Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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