There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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