you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
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the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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