On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
