Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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