Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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