Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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