You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is Oprah even human
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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