Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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