yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize