I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
