we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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