we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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