some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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