i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He kissed a someone with a penis
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
