$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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