The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
