Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
