Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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