So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
