By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just high enough for therapy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
