EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
