I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
