i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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