I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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