You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Come share oat with me in your robe