the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s