Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday