Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(979): View more from Texas

I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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(847): View more from Illinois

Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.

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(775): View more from Nevada

We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married

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(646): View more from New York

Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?

(212): View more from New York

hahah yep

(646): View more from New York

Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?

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