i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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