Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
your room smells of hookers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.