you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
