oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
