Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
