is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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