She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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