Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
