Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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