I will die if light touches me.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
two words: eviction party
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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