Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
