So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
