just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
