i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
