I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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