i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
