wakey wakey hands off snakey
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
